Friday, June 24, 2011

Friday Funny: Terror Threat Levels

If you can laugh at one country, you have to laugh at them all! Not sure who wrote it, but it's funny nonetheless.


 ANNOUNCEMENT

 The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent
 terrorist threats and have therefore raised their security
 level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though,
 security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or
 even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit
 Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly
 ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from
 "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance." The last time the
 British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in
 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.


The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off"
 to "Let's get the Bastards." They don't have any other
 levels. This is the reason they have been used on the
 front line of the British army for the last 300 years.

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its
terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher
levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was
precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's
white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's
military capability.


Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and
Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more
levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change
Sides."


The Germans have increased their alert state from
"Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing
Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels:
"Invade a Neighbor" and "Lose."

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the
only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of
Brussels.


The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to
deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass
bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at
the old Spanish navy.


Australia , meanwhile, has raised its security level
from "No worries" to "She'll be alright, Mate." Three more
escalation levels remain: "Crikey!","I think we'll
need to cancel the barbie this weekend," and "The barbie
is cancelled."

And finally Canada is at "That's not nice and please stop"
threat level, and has passed a bill in the House of Commons to
never raise the level any higher so as not to offend the terrorists.

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