Earlier this year, I told you about my team's third place finish at the Rustin Community Fair Ultimate Frisbee Tournament. It was a great success. But Frisbee season has began anew, and as a Senior I'm the captain of our squad. Desiring more competition than our campus confines provide, we took an all-star team of disk- jockey's (get it?) to Philadelphia to compete in a local tournament this past saturday. This tournament, mind you, is bigger than any we'd competed in before. It ran from 9:00 AM to 6:00 PM, a full 9 hours of Frisbeeing Frenzy. This was the main event, the big attraction, the King-Da-Ka of intramural sporting glory, the pinnacle of student-body bragging rights. To compete here required the stamina of soccer, the physicality of hockey, the metnal toughness of football, the precision of speed skating, and the intensity of a caged gladiator wrestling match between a man and an ill-tempered platypus. Like most of those activities, it was a ton of fun.
But you know when your parents used to tell you "Hey, so long as we all have fun, we're all winners?" Well, it's a load of crap. As Vince Lombardi once said, "If we aren't playing to win, then why bother keeping score?" Our squad, named Victorious Secret (you may have noticed I have a thing for puns) went 4-1 and finished 2nd out of 8 teams to claim a decent consolation prize. Not that any prizes are needed besides the sweet scent of defeated enemies and the primal, testosterone-filled chest bumps that ensue, but we also recieved some elite, expensive, premium grade frisbees for our own. And these aren't just any frisbees. Remember in that god-awful movie "Blades of Glory" where Will Ferrell goes on a rant about how much he loves his hairbrush? "Not just a brush, but a Verticoli. Handmade in Italy. They carve it out of illegal whalebone. They only make eleven of them a year. This one cost me $12,000, or 30 million lira. Perfectly balanced, low drag, minimal torque...No exaggeration, I could not love a baby as much as I love this brush." Yeah, well that's about how we feel about these frisbees.
No longer is Ultimate Frisbee the realm of hippies and weirdo's not good enough to play any "real" sports. No, our team beat the team with all the football players on it 11-2 today. We made one of the girls on their team cry when she missed the frisbee and it hit her in the lip. We laughed. Get on our level.