Sunday, May 16, 2010

The Frisbee Fanatic

Today (or rather yesterday, it being what was considered tommorow when I woke) was Rustin's Community Fair, which featured a dozen or so of Rustin's extra-curriculars enjoying a pleasant afternoon of beautiful weather, great food, and enjoyable live music by a student band. But as pleasant as this was, everyone in attendance knew that all of those factors played second fiddle to what went on in the football feild next to the fair's booths: the main event, the big attraction, the King-Da-Ka of Rustin intramural sporting glory, the pinnacle of student-body bragging rights that is the Ultimate Frisbee Tournament.

Of course, this is not the only opportunity Rustiners have to play "the more beautiful game." Ultimate Frisbee goes on all year round. We define our season's duration as "From whenever the snow melts to whenever the Frisbee gets too icy to catch." Our weekly meetings are competitive enough already, so much so that we keep individual offensive statistics on our club website ( ). But the annual Community Fair tournament takes it up a notch. To compete here requires the stamina of soccer, the physicality of hockey, the metnal toughness of football, the precision of speed skating, and the intensity of a caged gladiator wrestling match between a man and an ill-tempered platypus. 10 teams from 2 seperate high schools were able to meet today for over 5 hours of Frisbeeing Frenzy, and everyone had a great time.

But you know when your parents used to tell you "Hey, so long as we all have fun, we're all winners?" Well, it's a load of crap. As Vince Lombardi once said, "If we aren't playing to win, then why bother keeping score?" My team, the Disc Jockeys (you may notice I have a thing for puns....) went 4-0 with a total margin of victory of +24. Despite our dominance, we were not yet crowned the champions we must defeat 2 teams in tommorow's playoff round to win our prize. Not that any prizes are needed besides the sweet scent of defeated enemies and the primal, testosterone-filled chest bumps that ensue, but the winners additionaly recieve some elite, expensive, premium grade frisbees for our own. And these aren't just any frisbees. Remember in that godawful movie "Blades of Glory" where Will Ferrell goes on a rant about how much he loves his hairbrush? ""Not just a brush but a Verticoli. Handmade in Italy. They carve it out of illegal whalebone. They only make eleven of them a year. This one cost me $12,000 or 30 million lira. Perfectly balanced, low drag, minimal torque...No exaggeration, I could not love a baby as much as I love this brush." Yeah, well that's about how we feel about these frisbees.

No longer is Ultimate Frisbee the realm of hippies and weirdo's not good enough to play any "real" sports. No, our team beat the team with all the football players on it 11-2 today. We made one of the girls on their team cry when she missed the frisbee and it hit her in the lip. We laughed. Get on our level.

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